Community: Places of Love and Belonging

I am back from a couple week hiatus while I focused on moving back to Minnesota. Yesterday, began reflecting on the importance of community. It all started with a "return" to worship at my home congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church. I was baptized and confirmed in this congregation. I am a true "child of the congregations". Yet, I've been mostly inactive of the past 15 years. As I walked down the halls of the church before worship I was greeted warmly by many individuals who know me. I was greeted with an abundance of hugs and questions about what I was doing and how I was. These greetings continued after worship including a wonderful surprise visit with a friend from youth group days who I'd not seen in probably 20 years! I felt so loved as I walked through that building interacting with this community.

Community is a place where you feel you are "worthy of love and belonging" (Brene Brown).  When you feel loved by the individual members of a community you also feel like you belong to that community. Community's love you for who you are each time you enter that community. They encourage you to grow, to heal, and to build relationships within the community.

After I lost my Christian Education job I felt lost and in desperate need of community. I was living in a "new" state where my primary community had been the congregation I was working with. I was in desperate need of healing, love, and a place to belong. Through a friend and colleague, Gina Struensee, I was introduced to two communities that embodied what community should be. First, the more obvious community I entered into relationship with was First Presbyterian Church in Neenah, WI and more specifically their knitting group. The knitting group welcomed me with open arms and nourished me through their kindness and interest in me as person. I was by far the youngest member of the group yet I was always greeted with enthusiasm and authenticity. The congregation itself also welcomed me, provided space and time for healing, and allowed me to use some of my gifts to give back to this community. Within this community I felt God's love surround me and give me courage and hope for healing and renewed life.

The second community that embodied what community should be was at first a bit surprising to me. I began attending yoga classes at The Flow Yoga & Wellness for the health benefits. I expected it to be just a place to attend yoga classes. As you might expect it turned out to be quite a different experience. I began to build relationships with the owner, instructors, and other yogis. The instructors took an interest in who I was as a whole person. Not only did the they know my story they also took an interest in helping me heal and move forward. They challenged me both on and off my mat. I began to feel a camaraderie with my fellow yogis as we had breakthroughs on our mat and when we fell "off" our mat. This community became the true embodiment of what it means to feel "worthy of love and belonging."

It is my hope that each of you reading this post has a community (or two or three) the embody true community. You have a place that where you can heal, grow, belong and experience God's love for YOU! Please share in the comments a story about community and how it impacts/ed you.

Spiritual Practice-Gratitude Journaling

I decided to jump on the Thanksgiving bandwagon and write a post about thankfulness or in this case gratefulness. Now don't get me wrong it's not that I'm not thankful or grateful but this year I don't feel the need to broadcast these things on Facebook or social media. In fact this post isn't going to focus on what I'm thankful. However, I do want to take this time to say THANK YOU to YOU the readers of this blog! I am grateful that you take the time to read, ponder, and respond to what I write. It gives me courage and inspires me to continue this blogging journey.

Okay so back to the main purpose of this post. I have a spiritual practice of gratefulness. I try to each day to be intentional about naming the things I'm grateful for. Some days I just take a few minutes to name them in my head. Other days I write them down as part of my pray journaling practice. Some days I even post them on Facebook or Instagram. This practice is usually just a list of people, things or events. In the past few days I have to feel the need to reflect on my gratitude on deeper level. I have felt the need to challenge myself to not only name what I'm grateful for but also to put into words why I am grateful that particular day for that person, place, item or event. This might include reflecting on how this positively impacted me or where/how I experienced God's love. This will take more time than just making a list. Yet, I believe it will open up my heart and soul for glimpses of God's healing and transforming love.

For Advent I am going to commit to putting this into practice by keeping a gratitude journal. Each day not only will I name what I'm grateful for but will reflect and write down why I'm grateful for the things I name. I also commit to reflecting on this experience in a blog post after Christmas.

So who wants to join me in this gratitude challenge? I would love to have others along on this journey with me and to hear what you noticed about yourself while engaging in this spiritual practice.

Here are some question to ponder as you reflect on the "why":

• How did this person, event, or thing positively effect my life today?
• How am I different because of this?
• How did I experience God's healing and transforming love today?
• What about the person, event, or thing made me feel grateful?

Who's with me?!

Healing: The Act of Restoration

I have been thinking a lot about healing recently. I believe healing is the act of restoring ones body, mind or spirit to a flourishing condition. In this sate we are able to be our most authentic selves. When we are are most authentic self we are living as the being God created us to be. We live most of our lives in a state of unhealthiness (read not authentic). Physically, we can become sick or injured. Mentally, we can become depressed, lonely, or ashamed of ourselves. Spiritually, we can become wounded and hurt and feel God has abandoned us. All of these states of being keep us from living as God has made us.

I am drawn to the idea of restoring. In the act of restoring we are not changing the essence of who we are. In fact in many cases we are simply uncovering it and letting it shine. In the act of restoring we are doing the hard work of peeling away years of paint that have covered up the true beauty of our soul. We sweep away the dust that has built up over time because of neglect or fatigue. Restoration is a transformative process that begins and ends with God's love. In fact restoration may look like we have changed who we are and in some ways we have. We have changed behaviors, the way we view ourself and the world, and the way we interact with other may look different. God's love always changes us and brings transforms us to our authentic self.

I believe that we all need spaces and times where healing can happen. Congregations need to hold space and time for healing. Some people may experience this in a worship service, others a small group, a Christian Education class, a meeting with a pastor, or even a fellowship event. Some of these times and spaces will just occur but it is my hope that congregations will provide intentional times and spaces for healing and restoration. This may be a class or series of classes on Spiritual Practices, invite someone with essential oil experience to talk about how essential oils can support and promote healing and well-being, provide a yoga class or gather moms together for support and healing. There are so many ways to do this. I pray congregations will embrace this aspect of command to love one another.

If you could find healing for anything-mind, body or soul what would it be? What is your greatest healing story? In what ways have you been restored? How has you congregation held intentional space and time for healing?

Capturing the Beauty Amongst the Chaos

According to my parents I have always loved to be outside and to create things. This is most likely why I find outdoor photography such a spiritual experience. It is one way God enters my soul -  grounding and transforming me. I find that if I go out into nature on photography walk I not only come back with some great shots but I come back more alive and in tune with myself and with God, for I have glimpsed (even captured) the beauty of God's creation in the chaos of this world.

If you look though my photographs either on this blog or other places they have been "displayed" you will notice that a majority of them are close up of objects with the exception of my sunset photographs. I was told once that the type of photography (close up vs. non close up) tells a lot about how you see/view the world. Thus, I think my photography reflects how I perceive the world and reveals something about how I relate to the world. If you know me well you know I am a very detail oriented person. I tend to focus on small aspects of a situation or project, sometimes forgetting to look at the larger picture. I like to hone into the the details because I believe they are often overlooked as an important aspect of a situation or project. The details reveal much about the whole. They can be messy as well as beautiful. Without the details there is no whole.

In my photography I love to look for the the beautiful in the chaos. I love to hone into one small part of a larger landscape and capture its beauty. In a world full of chaos we need to find ways to hone into the small aspects of our lives that give us joy, laughter, and beauty. I believe this is one ways God enters into our soul in the midst of chaos, struggle, or hopelessness. This is is what transforming love looks like.

One aspect of my passion and purpose is to hold space for individuals to catch a glimpse of beauty, joy and laughter. It is in this space that healing and wholeness can be experienced. I am honored to walk this journey with others through my photography, my future career as well as other times and places where this can occur.

What are your favorite types of photographs to look at? To ponder? What types of photographs make you cringe?

(So you might have been expecting some photographs...well this post was not about the photographs themselves but rather a written reflection on photography.)

Healing Not Controlling

This past Friday I posted the following quote as part of Friday Photographs. "Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives." I love what this quote implies about healing and it's effect on our lives. When we are hurt emotionally or spiritually it controls our lives. The wound is all we can think about. We talk about it, we think about it, we dream about it and we worry about it.

This was the case when I broke my foot 8 years ago. My broken foot "controlled" everything thing I did and thought about. There were certain things I couldn't do because I was on crutches. I was always thinking about my next move and if my "wound" would effect it. How was I going to open the door with grocery bags in my hand? How was I going to get up and not put weight on my foot. However, as my foot began to heal I thought less and less about how it affected my everyday life. I  could walk around and not worry about falling or stepping funny. My foot is fully healed yet there are days I am aware this wound existed but it doesn't control my life.

Just as with the feeling of my foot, as emotional and spiritual wounds begin to heal we see a transformation. We begin to notice that we are not talking, thinking, dreaming, or worrying about the wound. The wounds no longer paralyze us from taking action. When a wound has transformed from living with it to telling about it healing has begun. It becomes part of our lived story rather than our life. 

Telling the story of our woundedness is proof that the damage existed. I believe sharing our stories of woundedness it a way that we can help others in their journey toward wholeness. Our stories remind others that they are not alone and that they can also heal from their wounds. My hope is that I can use my stories of woundedness, shame and fear as one tool to hold space for healing and wholeness. 

I want YOU to experience this quote as I have. I want to help YOU do so. What are some ways that you find healing from your wounds? What tools or support would you like to have to assist you in your emotional and/or spiritual healing? 

Friday Photographs-Healing

"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. 

It means the damage no longer controls our lives."

Holding Space for Healing and Wholeness

As I have look back on my years in educational ministry I realized that I have always been drawn toward experiences that create and hold space for worship, prayer, noticing, healing and listening. I seem to come alive when I can create and plan experiences that allow individuals to notice and listen for the ways God's love is present in and around them. I want to be able to hold space and time for healing of mind, body and spirit. I want to come alongside people as they journey toward wholeness.

Part of my current journey and discernment is exploring what "holding space and time for healing of mind, body and spirit" looks like. This can take so many forms. I have so many things that interest and intrigue me from the use of essential oils to spiritual practices to massage to yoga to chakra/energy work...the list goes on. Somedays I think I see clearly what this looks like but many days it looks like a heavy fog has set in and I can only see rough outlines of what is ahead. On the one hand this is discouraging because feel like I should be able to see clearly and know what I want to "be when I grow up." On the other hand having so many possibilities and avenues gives me the opportunity to explore and really hone into to my particular niche and calling.

I am reminded that we do not discern alone but in community. So today I ask for two things. First I ask for your prayers. Second I ask that you take a moment to think about what you know about me (my gifts, skills, passions, personality etc.), what I have said above and let me know what direction you see God calling me. You can message me or put your thoughts in the comments. Thank you!

I also challenge you to think about spaces and places of healing you can hold for others.

The Anti-Bullying Scarf

For the past week I have been crocheting my first anti-bullying scarf for the Oshkosh, WI school district. The anti-bullying scarves are given to 5th graders who pledge not to bully and to report any bullying the witness. This year they are giving out over 400 scarves. I am told the children wear the scarves with honor and that younger children look up to them and are anxious to receive their own when they finally become 5th grade students.

Bullying is a subject that hits very close to home for me. Throughout much of my upper elementary, middle, and high school years I was teased and picked on. I'm not sure I would go so far as to say I was bullied for it was not as severe as the stories I hear today. My experiences of being teased and picked on has had a lasting impact on me. It has impacted my self confidence, my sense of self worth, my ability to authentically express myself. Healing from the woundedness that occurred is a slow yet beautiful process as I uncover layers of myself I had covered and all but forgotten.

The other day as I was working on this scarf I found myself reflecting on my experiences. With each stitch I found myself reliving the memories of my "bullying" experiences. At first this was all I could think about. However, as I crocheted on my memories transformed into prayers. A prayer that this scarf may prevent someone from having to have a similar experience (or worse) to mine. A prayer that the the child who receives this scarf will find the confidence to be authentic, the courage to stand up to bullying, and the heart to befriend the friendless. A prayer of love and peace for all who are impacted by this scarf and this scarf "ministry."

This is something that I can do to have a positive impact this tragic epidemic in our society. What are you doing? What can you do? How can you contribute, big or small, to positively impact the life of a child?

My Spiritual Direction Experience

One of the most life altering decisions I ever made was to meet with a Spiritual Director.  I was at a point in my life where I felt "stuck" and was feeling far from God. I was working as a Director of Christian Education and kept telling myself that I should be more spiritual and should feel closer to God. I expected that in meeting with a Spiritual Director I would be given spiritual practices to do and maybe talk some about my life. I thought this would be the answer.

Then I started meeting with the Rev. Anita Cummings and my expectations about what spiritual direction was were turned upside down. Sessions with Anita were a mixture of prayer, conversation, visualization, energy/chakra work, and stretching. I fell in love with this integrative approach. Anita, challenged me to begin the healing process-I call it "soul work." This process is about healing the mind and soul but also about uncovering your "hidden treasures." In the end it is about uncovering your and renewing ones relationship with ones authentic self.

As the sessions continued I found I was drawn to the the energy/chakra work and the stretching. It was during this part of my session that I experienced the most overall healing. I found I myself more aware and fully present to my mind, body and spirit. Sometimes healing came in the form of letting go, sometimes in the form more courage, sometimes relaxation, and sometimes a true "aha" moment.

I truly believe that if I had not began spiritual direction with Anita I would still paralyzed with brokenness, fear and shame. I would still be seeking God in all the "wrong" places and I would be a very dark shadow of my authentic self.

Where have you found healing? Who is your spiritual director or guide?

Tell me about your experience with spiritual direction. What is/was it like? What do/did you do? How has it changed you?

Stories of a Prayer Chair

As I stare into the candlelight and sit in my "Prayer Chair" my mind and heart are filled with joy, worry, struggle, wonder, and love. My mind wanders to the stories this chair might tell me.

What stories would this chair tell about those who have sat, played, cried, slept, and laughed in it? What would they teach me about my family, my past, about life, and how I live? Did those who sat here have the same inner struggles I do? Did they ask the same questions I ask? How did they respond to their struggles? How did they fight loneliness, sorrow, worry, sadness, and depression? How did they heal?

I know their energy is present in the place-in this chair. I too will leave energy in this chair. I trust that God transcends the energy and creates healing energy. It is this energy and love which sustains me, gives me hope, and gives me life!

Friday Photographs

"A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." 

Matthew 2:18

Lord in your mercy hear our prayer...

(Dedicated to those who are affect by today's school shooting in Connecticut)

Prayer for Healing & Light

This is an excerpt from my prayer journal from a few days ago-I believe many people have a similar prayer!

Holy One, I strive each day to be authentic and true-to be vulnerable and courageous. I can see and feel the wounds of my mind and soul healing. They are healing slowly from the inside out, from the depths to the surface-the way wounds should heal. I know I have "soul work" to continue that will aide in the healing that only your love can provide. As my wounds heal, I discover a deep love and longing for my authentic self. I discover a desire to stop living in hurt and fear and begin living in worthiness and true love. May your healing and transforming love continue to wash over me and flow into the depths of my mind, body, and soul so that I may be light to this world...AMEN!

Mind, Body & Spirit

The mind, body, spirit connection both baffles and intrigues me.  Being a psychology major the workings of the mind have always fascinated me.  Being brought up in the church the idea of the Holy Spirit has also intrigued me.  Being an athlete the workings of the body also interests me.  However, it is only in the past year or so have I begun to explore the many dimensions of the mind, body, spirt connection.

For years our culture (including much of Christianity) has pitted the mind, body, and spirit against one another. We were told that our bodies and minds were the enemies-the reason for sin. We were told that the only good was The Spirit. We have been told that we are at our core sinful. Now I don’t dispute that we are all sinful, in fact I know we are all sinful. However, I have come to believe that God see us as the spiritually perfect beings we truly are. 

What I have begun to realize is that the mind, body, spirit connection is essential to being human. We can not have one without the others. When one is suffering the others are affected. In other words the whole of who we are (mind, body & sprit) is always in need of God’s transformational and healing love. I was first introduced to this concept of attending to the mind, body, and spirit by my Spiritual Director, Anita Cummings. In our work together we always spend time attending to the mind, spirit and body. Actually, we attend to them concurrently. For Anita, ‘body work’ (attending to the flow of energy in our body in a variety of ways) is an essential aspect of spiritual healing and transformation. 

In the beginning I was skeptical of ‘body work’ as a form of spiritual direction and transformation. I wondered how ‘body work’ could affect spiritual transformation. It just seemed so foreign and it wasn’t part of my Presbyterian theos that said that the Spirit and the body were at odds. As we began attending to my body through this ‘body work‘ I became aware of how this ‘work’ affected my mind and spirit. I began to sense and feel the connection between my body and my mind and spirit. When I attend to my body I am also attending to my mind and my spirit.

There are so many dimensions of the mind, body, spirit connection that I continue to explore-intellectually, physically, and spiritually. What connections do you see? What dimensions and/or connections would you like to explore? What questions do you have about the connection between mind, body and spirit?

For me, the connection between mind, body, and spirit is one of God’s surprising wonders!

  

Attending to our Divine DNA

The body is an amazing thing! I use the word amazing in its truest sense. The way in which each bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, and nerve are connected to each other leaves me awe struck. The fact that merely stretching a muscle in my foot can at the same time stretch another muscle in my back and my shoulder is truly wonderful and wondrous. 

I am beginning to realize that our bodies know what they need to be healthy and feel good. The problem is that we are not very good at ‘listening’ to them.  I know this is true for me. In fact, there are many aches, pains, etc. that I ‘suffer’ with because I think that is normal for me. Yet, a small voice in my gut says “You don’t have to be ‘suffering’. Go to the doctor. Find healing.” Yet, because of my stubbornness, my shame, my finical situation I do nothing.

This is not totally accurate. Thanks to my Spiritual Director, Anita Cummings, I have begun to listen to my body. Recently, I was feeling very sore and tight. I knew I needed to do ‘body work’ with her. So I set up an appointment to just do ‘body work’. As she was guiding me through Wallace Method stretching she used a phrase that stuck with me.  It hit upon this idea of ‘listening’ to our bodies. She said “you need to feel and sense when an area of you body needs more attention.” We need to learn to sense when our bodies need our attention. Then we need to learn how to attend to those areas of our body that  need healing or extra attention. 

Attending to our intricate and amazing bodies is very spiritual. We are wonderfully and uniquely created in God’s image. As Fr. Richard Rohr states, “Our DNA is divine.” Thus, by attending to our amazing bodies we are attending to the divine in all of us.