Friday Photographs: Astonishing Light

"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being."

~Hafiz

When we feel like darkness has engulfed our being it is difficult to remember that God's light illumines our being and that even if one speck of light is greater than massive darkness. It is this ever present light and love that can give us hope in the midst of darkness. It is this light and love that illumine the path from loneliness to belonging. It is this light and love that illumine the beauty that each of us share with the world.

In what ways do you feel God's light shining within you? How do you see yourself today? Share your stories in the comments. 

WWJD? The "Outcasts" of Society and Our Personal Response

The New Testament is filled with stories of Jesus interacting with the outcast. In fact these stories are predominate in the Gospels. Jesus is either interacting with, telling parables about or telling his disciples about interacting with outcasts. It's not just that Jesus is interacting with outcast but rather that he is treating them as a Child of God. He sees their humanity AND the divinity that lives within them. He sees and treats them as God would. By his example and teaching he shows and reminds us to do the same.

Yesterday, this concept became very real to me. I don't consider myself a prejudice person in fact I consider myself to be very open minded about and empathetic towards the "outcasts" of our society. Yet, yesterday I was forced to take a deeper look within myself and ask "how would Jesus treat this person?" The first experience occurred at First Presbyterian Church in South St. Paul MN where I was teaching an Adult Education class on Contemplative Spiritual Practices. Earlier in the week I'd been contacted (via email) by Jennifer, the member in charge in Sunday morning Adult Education. So I was expecting to be greeted by her upon arrival. I first saw her from the back; she was tall and wore a lovely dress. When she turned around to greet me and introduce herself it was clear she was a transgender women. I admit I was a bit shocked and starred at her for a moment before I responded. It was this moment of shock that has stayed with me. Why should I be shocked to see a transgendered person? Why should I be shocked to see a transgendered person in church? Why should a be shocked to see a transgendered person in a leadership position in a church? I shouldn't and yet I was!

Fast forward to that evening. Westminster Presbyterian Church in Minneapolis, MN has been hosting homeless and underprivileged men, women and children for an Sunday evening meal once a month for over 25 years. The young adult group, WestConnect, had volunteered to help serve this sit down meal and I had signed up to participate. Unlike that morning when there was a moment that stuck with me, the evening experience on a whole has stuck with me. As I looked out over the individuals sitting down for a home cooked warm meal I began to see them differently. As I interacted with each individual I began to truly see them as individuals who are just like me. As a long time FEAST volunteer said in our orientation, "These people care about the same things that you do. They want to talk about what is going on the world-football, the weather, music etc." It was true!

So how would Jesus treat these people? First of all Jesus wouldn't be shocked by someones outward appearance. Jesus would treat each individual with respect, love and compassion. We all probably know that and we all know that is how we "should" be treating others. Yet, as the saying goes sometimes "it is easier said than done." So what does respect, love and compassion towards the "outcasts" of our society look like? How can we respond to the "outcast" with respect, love and compassion? These are questions that I am still pondering for myself. I know someways I can be more like Jesus but I also know that I can do more. I will strive to make better choices and strive to see EVERYONE as God see them and respond accordingly.

How will you respond?

Community: Places of Love and Belonging

I am back from a couple week hiatus while I focused on moving back to Minnesota. Yesterday, began reflecting on the importance of community. It all started with a "return" to worship at my home congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church. I was baptized and confirmed in this congregation. I am a true "child of the congregations". Yet, I've been mostly inactive of the past 15 years. As I walked down the halls of the church before worship I was greeted warmly by many individuals who know me. I was greeted with an abundance of hugs and questions about what I was doing and how I was. These greetings continued after worship including a wonderful surprise visit with a friend from youth group days who I'd not seen in probably 20 years! I felt so loved as I walked through that building interacting with this community.

Community is a place where you feel you are "worthy of love and belonging" (Brene Brown).  When you feel loved by the individual members of a community you also feel like you belong to that community. Community's love you for who you are each time you enter that community. They encourage you to grow, to heal, and to build relationships within the community.

After I lost my Christian Education job I felt lost and in desperate need of community. I was living in a "new" state where my primary community had been the congregation I was working with. I was in desperate need of healing, love, and a place to belong. Through a friend and colleague, Gina Struensee, I was introduced to two communities that embodied what community should be. First, the more obvious community I entered into relationship with was First Presbyterian Church in Neenah, WI and more specifically their knitting group. The knitting group welcomed me with open arms and nourished me through their kindness and interest in me as person. I was by far the youngest member of the group yet I was always greeted with enthusiasm and authenticity. The congregation itself also welcomed me, provided space and time for healing, and allowed me to use some of my gifts to give back to this community. Within this community I felt God's love surround me and give me courage and hope for healing and renewed life.

The second community that embodied what community should be was at first a bit surprising to me. I began attending yoga classes at The Flow Yoga & Wellness for the health benefits. I expected it to be just a place to attend yoga classes. As you might expect it turned out to be quite a different experience. I began to build relationships with the owner, instructors, and other yogis. The instructors took an interest in who I was as a whole person. Not only did the they know my story they also took an interest in helping me heal and move forward. They challenged me both on and off my mat. I began to feel a camaraderie with my fellow yogis as we had breakthroughs on our mat and when we fell "off" our mat. This community became the true embodiment of what it means to feel "worthy of love and belonging."

It is my hope that each of you reading this post has a community (or two or three) the embody true community. You have a place that where you can heal, grow, belong and experience God's love for YOU! Please share in the comments a story about community and how it impacts/ed you.

Spiritual Practice-Gratitude Journaling

I decided to jump on the Thanksgiving bandwagon and write a post about thankfulness or in this case gratefulness. Now don't get me wrong it's not that I'm not thankful or grateful but this year I don't feel the need to broadcast these things on Facebook or social media. In fact this post isn't going to focus on what I'm thankful. However, I do want to take this time to say THANK YOU to YOU the readers of this blog! I am grateful that you take the time to read, ponder, and respond to what I write. It gives me courage and inspires me to continue this blogging journey.

Okay so back to the main purpose of this post. I have a spiritual practice of gratefulness. I try to each day to be intentional about naming the things I'm grateful for. Some days I just take a few minutes to name them in my head. Other days I write them down as part of my pray journaling practice. Some days I even post them on Facebook or Instagram. This practice is usually just a list of people, things or events. In the past few days I have to feel the need to reflect on my gratitude on deeper level. I have felt the need to challenge myself to not only name what I'm grateful for but also to put into words why I am grateful that particular day for that person, place, item or event. This might include reflecting on how this positively impacted me or where/how I experienced God's love. This will take more time than just making a list. Yet, I believe it will open up my heart and soul for glimpses of God's healing and transforming love.

For Advent I am going to commit to putting this into practice by keeping a gratitude journal. Each day not only will I name what I'm grateful for but will reflect and write down why I'm grateful for the things I name. I also commit to reflecting on this experience in a blog post after Christmas.

So who wants to join me in this gratitude challenge? I would love to have others along on this journey with me and to hear what you noticed about yourself while engaging in this spiritual practice.

Here are some question to ponder as you reflect on the "why":

• How did this person, event, or thing positively effect my life today?
• How am I different because of this?
• How did I experience God's healing and transforming love today?
• What about the person, event, or thing made me feel grateful?

Who's with me?!

The Waters of Baptism

The sacrament of Baptism holds a special place in my heart and soul. I have always been drawn to this sacrament. For a long time I thought this connection was due to my love of babies/young children. However, over the past few years I have become aware of a deeper connection to baptism. The symbolism of baptism and especially the symbolism of water draw me in.

Several years ago (actually the summer of 2012) I was taking a walk along a river in Minnesota. At some point along my walk I decided to stop and watch the river go by. I think I was hoping for solace and peace but instead I began pondering the symbolism of water as it relate to baptism. This pondering produced three water/baptism metaphors (and I actually wrote them down in my phone).

1. Water as a journey.  A droplet of water in a river takes a journey through many experiences. This droplet winds around and around as in moves forward. It might journey quietly along and then suddenly it rumbles over rocks that form tumultuous rapids. It might even take a long and hard tumble over a waterfall. It usually ends up in a vast body of water. Each droplet of water is needed even if it seems lost in the millions of other droplets. Baptism marks the beginning of unique journey with God. In many ways the water used in baptism symbolizes the the journey we will take. It will be filled with times of tumult, falling, rising, and peacefulness. Yet, through it all we know we have been claimed by God and that God is with us and within us.
2. Water renewing life. We all know the power of water to renew life. We see it when we have forgotten to water a plant for weeks on end and it look dead but we decide to water it just incase and wala the plant come back to life. We see it in the stark contrast between a lush oasis in the middle of an arid desert. We are acutely aware of this power after taking a sip of precious water after a long hard day in the heat of summer. In baptism we remember and celebrate the renewed life we have in God. We celebrate the that God's healing and transforming love gives us new life each day.
3. Water as cleansing.  We have all experienced getting so dirty possibly covered in so much mud or dirt that we are unrecognizable a first glance. People may treat us differently because we are so dirty. Yet, with a water (and probably some soap!) we become recognizable again. Baptism symbolizes a washing or cleansing of sin. For me this is more about uncovering the layers of dirt that have made us an unrecognizable version of our authentic self. When we remember our baptism we are asked to rediscover our authentic self and strive live into this version of ourselves.

I believe the connecting theme in all of these metaphors is hope. Baptism is about God's love and about hope. We desperately need moments of hope in a world that continues to experience tragedy and suffering. I know deep down in my being that God's love will rise above the suffering and bring hope!

Love - It Changes Everything

One of the instructors at the yoga studio I go to tells us every class that we are "entities of love" (or today the phrase was "points of love"). He challenges us to "give that love away" because it "will change the world." Despite being a Christian I forget about love. I get so caught up in my own anxiety or get in my own head. I forget that I am worthy of love and belonging. I forget that God loves each of us unconditionally. We all need to be reminded of this daily if not multiple times a day!

Today I was struck by the phrase "give that love away." It can seem like a huge task to show love to each person we come into contact with every day. How do I show love to that customer who I know nothing about? How do I show love to the child who has been overly crabby all day? How do I show love to the co-worker who just treated me with disrespect? How do I show love to my fellow church member who is acting out in a meeting? How do I show love to my best friend in her greatest time of need?

The more I thought about doing this the more I realized it doesn't have to be overwhelming. You don't need to say just the right thing or do something extravagant. It is really about the small but intentional ways you show love. It might be a genuine smile, taking the time to listen to one more story, rising above the disrespect, saying a small word of encouragement, giving a high five or a hug, or even just holding open the door for someone. It is about taking that extra moment and being intentional about your act of love. It is about making that act of love personal and situational. You might only have a split second to act so make it count.

I challenge you to take one day this week and focus on showing love to each and every person you come into contact with that day. Notice how it changes you. Notice how it changes the people around you. Notice how God works through you. Notice how this makes you feel. Notice you ARE changing the world with each act of love!

(Oh and report back...I'd love to hear your stories and experiences!!)

The Impact of Joyce

In the next few days Joyce will be taken off life support after complications during an an emergency surgery, she was 80 years old. I've only known Joyce for about 9 months but she had an impact on me. I first met Joyce when I attended the knitting/crocheting group at the church I attend here in the Fox Cities. Ever since that first meeting she always made a point to speak to me on Sunday mornings as well as during knitting/crocheting group. Her small acts of hospitality and kindness kept me coming back tot this group.

Today was knitting/crocheting group day and I witnessed the impact Joyce had on the members of this group. As we prayed for Joyce and her family tears flowed from just about everyone in the room. Joyce will probably never know the ways in which she was a vessel of God's love and grace. She will probably never know how many people her gentle and kind spirit touched. She will never know how much I appreciated her kindness because I never told her.

Remember we are all vessels of light and love. We may never know how much we impact another person. I am challenged by Joyce's life to be more intentional about my actions so that they may reflect God's love and grace to all I come into contact with.

Reflections of Light and Love

While I was viewing and photographing the lunar eclipse the other night I began to ponder the idea of light. When I was very young I believed that the moon produced it's own light like the sun did. Of course at some point I learned that the light we observe from the moon is actually just a reflection of light from the sun.

As I was viewing the eclipse it hit me-humans like the moon are only reflections of God's light and love. While God's light and love live with in us we are not producers of this light and love. God has entrusted us to be reflections of this light and love by embedding it within us. With out God there is no love or light to reflect.

Just like the during a lunar eclipse the light reflected by the mood seems to disappear as the earth obstructs the light, there are times when the light in us seems to go out. The brokenness, suffering and sin of the world can block out our reflection of God's light and love. It is during these times that we tend to forget we are not creators of light and love-God is. God's light and love are always within us that is good news!

We know the darkness of the lunar eclipse is only temporary and that the moon will once again reflect the sun light. This is also true of the darkness that evades our lives. It is temporary and we can have faith that we will again reflect God's light and love. We must keep moving forward during the times of darkness. We must be on the look out for that first glimmer of light reappearing within our heart and soul and when we glimpse it we can celebrate knowing that we are more fully reflecting God's amazing healing and transforming light and love!

Jesus the Master of Love

For a long time I struggled with Jesus. I knew I believed in Jesus as Lord and savior yet I struggled with what this meant. I struggled with who Jesus was and what he meant for human kind and for that matter what he meant for me. In college I came face to face with this tension in the form of friends who believed that the only way to be "saved" and go to heaven was to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and confess him as you Lord and Savior. This didn't sit well with me, yet I didn't know why. I think I knew there was more to it than this.

Fast forward 15 years to the present. I have been through seminary and worked in the church for 10+ years and I still have not been able to fully express what a truly believed about Jesus. I had some jumbled ideas and thoughts but nothing concrete. Then one day not too long ago this video (I wish I knew how to put this directly on this page) featuring Brene Brown popped up on my Facebook feed. As I watched it, I kept saying, "Yes, this is exactly what I know to be true and how I feel about Jesus!" I urge you to watch this 3 minute video. Basically she says that God sent Jesus to show us how to love; to show us that love is messy, it's hard, but it is worth it.

Jesus's kind of love is what the Kingdom of God and salvation are about. In other words we are entities of love just like Jesus was. The difference is that Jesus really understood true love, he was the master of it. We are all just apprentices learning from the best. We stumble, we fall, we fail, we even spew hatred. Salvation is about turning away from sin and towards God. God = Love. So salvation is really about being entities of God's Love as shown though Jesus. Each day we can choose to practice love-love for ourselves, our friends and family, the stranger, and even and maybe most importantly our "enemy." This journey called life is about learning to and living into to our calling to be entities of God's amazingly messy yet transforming love!

Friday Photographs-Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and

wonderfully made!"

Psalm 139:14

No matter what flaws we see in ourselves or how broken we might feel we can find hope in the truth that God created us and LOVES us unconditionally. With that knowledge we can be assured that we are worthy of love and belonging. We are all indeed beautiful! 

The Connection Between Salvation & Wholeness

Several weeks ago I shared with you that I have discovered my passion, "To equip and come alongside people as they journey toward greater spiritual, emotional and physical wholeness." For me the key word in this statement of passion is wholeness. I think that all of us long for wholeness. 

Wholeness can mean different things to different people. For me at it's core wholeness is being restored to our true or authentic selves. Our authentic or true self is who God intended and created us to be. It is the unwounded, unhurt, and innocent self. It is my belief that we come into this world pure and whole. It is only when we begin to experience life that we become broken and only a shadow of our authentic self.

Living in this world means experiencing sin, brokenness, woundedness, shame, fear, and suffering. These experiences draw us away from our authentic selves and create in an "unclean heart". It is only through God's unconditional love shown in Jesus that we can be truly restored to wholeness. For me this is the essence of salvation. Salvation is not about the what happens after we die but rather salvation is about being saved from our "shadow selves" (think inauthentic selves).  Jesus' life, death and resurrection not only showed us how much God loves us but also how to love. Jesus showed us the messiness of love and that love is hard. Jesus also showed us that God's love overcomes death gives restored life to each of us. In reality wholeness is about restoring ourselves to the love that God revealed in Jesus Christ. 

The good news is that we are all on a journey toward wholeness and God has given us a vast array of tools that we can tap into to find spiritual, emotional, and physical wholeness! What are some tools you have? What types of tools would you like to learn more about?

Up-side Down Leadership

Genesis 41

Mark 6:30-44

A Pharaoh turning over power to a “criminal”! Jesus AND his disciples feeding 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish! These are pretty amazing stories of upside-down leadership. 

In our first story the almighty Pharaoh who has total power over his people decides to relinquish quite a bit of this power to Joseph. Remember, Pharaoh was like a King in a monarchy he had total power over the people and this power had been passed down to him through his family. Pharaohs themselves were even regarded as gods and god’s are NOT supposed to relinquish power to mere humans. Not to mention the man he was giving power to had been in jail! In fact he came right from jail he was not even a “respectable” man in society! Pharaoh upon knowing this man for less than a day recognizes Josephs gifts and that they are God given and decides to make him “second in command”. Now that’s going out on leadership limb! 

There are several important things going on in this story. One is that God opened Pharaoh’s eyes to God’s power. Pharaoh saw God as bigger and more powerful than even he was and Pharaoh was considered all powerful and god like. Second in seeing God as all powerful Pharaoh buys in to God’s “plan” for the future of Egypt and put’s Joseph in charge of carrying out this plan because of Joseph’s God given gifts and his faith in God. Third we are witness to God’s love and compassion to all of God’s children. God has compassion for Pharaoh by keeping him in power-in other words he doesn’t loose everything because of this change in leadership. God show compassion toward Joseph by bringing him out of his deepest struggle-being in jail. God shows compassion toward the people of Egypt and the surrounding countries through the leadership of Pharaoh and Joseph whose planning ahead kept food in their bellies during the famine. 

Then there is the story of Jesus and his disciples feeding the 5,000. Jesus decides to take his disciples on a little vacation away from the crowds for some rest and relaxation. However, they are “found” and Jesus has “compassion” for the crowd and begins teaching them. As the daylight wanes the disciples, in their typical manner, become restless and begin to worry about how they are going to feed all these people. Their solution, which seems compassionate and easiest, is to just send them out to the neighboring towns so that they can buy their own food before it gets too dark and it is unsafe to travel. 

Jesus, with his true compassion and wisdom, challenges their solution and says “You give them something to eat.” They of course give him a “very good” reason why this is not possible. He then sends them out find out how many “loaves and fishes” they have. After finding out there are 5 loaves and 2 fish he “directs” the disciples to gather the crowd into groups and sit. Giving thanks to God he divides the bread and fish among the disciples to distribute to the entire crowd. 

Think about it! Jesus by this point in his ministry was probably getting kind of tired of the disciples complaining and finding the “easy way out”. It wasn’t that the disciples were not compassionate or dumb they just were not able to see the big picture. In this case Jesus could have taken full power over the disciples and done it all by himself. He is God you know! Yet, instead he decides to empower his disciples to serve the people. Jesus, challenges the status quo and the disciples first solution by setting forth a new vision/solution where the disciples and the gathered crowd could experience the love and power of God. By equipping the disciples with the necessary gifts they are able engage more fully and truly in God’s work. Jesus empowers the disciples to become leaders in this ministry of compassion and love.

Both of these stories testify to God’s compassion and love for her beloved. These stories also testify to the fact that all people are beloved children of God and thus we all deserve compassion and love. Compassion, belonging, and love are not based on our status in society, how much money we have, our age, or our religion. We all deserve these things because we all belong to God. Ministry is showing authentic compassion and love to God’s people no matter who they are. It might be your sister, your teacher, the bully at school, the mean coworker, the homeless person you passed on your way here, your children or grandchildren...you get the idea. We are all called by God to embody compassion and love-this is ministry.

We are all called into ministry and ministry requires shared leadership. According to Kevin Ford in his book Transforming Church, Leadership is not defined in terms of power over someone or something but rather is defined as “leadership as ministry through sacrifice and service.” (Ford p. 11). For Ford leadership is shared leadership. In American culture this kind of leadership might be considered upside-down leadership. In a culture that promotes power and individuality, effective leadership is defined by how much power you have over someone and how effective you are at coercing others to follow you.  This stands is stark contrast to leadership as compassion, sacrifice, and service! In this context Ford says “leadership is about how best to fulfill the churches mission” (Ford p. 11). Our mission, ultimately, is to embody God’s love and compassion in our own context.

Both of today’s Bible stories are examples of this type of leadership. Pharaoh sacrificed his power and probably his status. In doing so he showed compassion for his people as well as recognizing the gifts and wisdom of Joseph. Jesus’ leadership was also one of compassion and service. In this story Jesus empowered his disciples to carry out a ministry of compassion and love.

Shared leadership and ministry go hand in hand. Shared leadership requires sacrifice, service, vision, faith, and compassion. Ministry occurs in the Dayton Avenue Presbyterian Church (DAPC) community, in you family, your workplace, and/or in your personal life. Ministry happens when God’s love and compassion are experienced by everyone. Cultivating ministries of love and compassion requires that everyone participate using our unique God given gifts. Leadership as ministry occurs when we empower others and/or are empowered by others to use our gifts to embody God’s love and compassion for all people and to focus on how to best fulfill this congregation’s mission.

I wonder how we in the DAPC community can embody leadership as ministry? How can we in “official” leadership positions empower this community to best fulfill the mission of DAPC? I wonder how God will use this community to embody her love and compassion? I wonder how God will bless each of us this week with love and compassion? I wonder how will we respond?

Amen.

Lent Day 7: love

love

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Friday Photographs

"A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." 

Matthew 2:18

Lord in your mercy hear our prayer...

(Dedicated to those who are affect by today's school shooting in Connecticut)

Prayer for Healing & Light

This is an excerpt from my prayer journal from a few days ago-I believe many people have a similar prayer!

Holy One, I strive each day to be authentic and true-to be vulnerable and courageous. I can see and feel the wounds of my mind and soul healing. They are healing slowly from the inside out, from the depths to the surface-the way wounds should heal. I know I have "soul work" to continue that will aide in the healing that only your love can provide. As my wounds heal, I discover a deep love and longing for my authentic self. I discover a desire to stop living in hurt and fear and begin living in worthiness and true love. May your healing and transforming love continue to wash over me and flow into the depths of my mind, body, and soul so that I may be light to this world...AMEN!

Friday Photographs

May the light of God 
   illumine the heart of my soul,
May the flame of Christ 
   kindle me to love,
May the fire of the Spirit 
   free me to live this day, 
   tonight and for ever.
-J. Philip Newell