Praying in Color and Embracing Change

In the past year I have been challenged to embrace change with vulnerability, courage, and self acceptance. This has not been any easy task. In fact some days I would rather just stick my head in a hole and not resurface until it's all over. However, I know this is really not the best or most effective way to live one's life even if life has thrown you a huge curve ball. So instead I have been searching for ways to "rise strong" (Rising Strong is the title of Brene Brown's newest book) and show up every moment of every day. A few of the ways I have been doing this is through regular yoga practice, reaching out to friends and professionals for support and healing, and more recently reintroducing regular prayer practices into my daily routine.

For the past week I have been digging into to my creative heart and my need to work with my hands and "trying out" a prayer practice called Praying in Color. Praying in Color uses the concepts of doodling and coloring as tools for a more "active, meditative, playful prayer practice" (Praying in Color pg. 5). You can pray for others, for you self, or even pray through scripture.

As you can see my prayer focus has been self centered (in a positive way). My need to embrace change within myself and my situation has dictated my praying in color practice thus far. It has allowed me to take time to listen for God, ask questions of God and myself, and seek answers about who I am and where I am on the this journey we call life.

This practice is constantly changing (as you can tell from the two photographs). No two prayers are alike.

Praying in Color allows my brain to focus and wander simultaneously. It also gives me a safe time and outlet to lean in to and really feel my emotions. For example today while I was doodling "embrace fear" not only did I notice the fear bubbling up from within but I was able to doodle and color the emotion as I was feeling it. I authentically felt it but it didn't have the power to paralyze me. I believe  this is what the God means in the verse "Do not be afraid."

This is an ever evolving prayer practice and I am excited to see where it will take me next.

Does this practice intrigue you? Would you like to learn more about it? If so, click on the link above or click right here.  Or contact me and we can chat about it-I'd love to help you begin!

"Really Tall" Towers

Life can sometimes feel like a tower of blocks that have come crashing down around us. In life we tend to build towers "really tall" just so we can say or feel like we have accomplished something. Then all of a sudden our "really tall" tower come crashing down around us. All we see is brokenness and chaos. Sometimes we have no idea what made it fall. Was it circumstances? Did we knock it down ourselves? Did someone else knock it down? Whatever the reason there we stand frozen with shock for a while.

I don't know about you but when I'm standing in the middle of my pile of blocks looking at the brokenness and chaos that has ensued all I see is devastation and failure. I want to run away and stick my head in a whole and never show my face again. This is especially true when I feel that it is my fault that the tower has fallen. It can feel hopeless and overwhelming.

The "children will lead them"...this past weekend I spent many hours with my two year old niece. She loves to play and build with blocks.  She loves to build "really tall" towers and she built many of them. What I witnessed as I watch her build and rebuild her "really tall" towers was her reaction to the towers crashing down.  In the beginning, each time the tower would fall I would say "uh-oh!" yet her reaction was always the same, "that's okay!" and she would just build it again. Sometimes she would even knock it down herself only to move it in the truck to rebuild it in another place. By the end of my time with her I had all but stopped saying "uh-oh" and just let her response become the norm.

My nieces reaction to "failure" is one of learning and growing not one of devastation. She does not associate failure with a negative reaction or emotion. Now don't get me wrong-failure is hard and can feel devastating. It can make us feel worthless and throw us for a loop. However, I am beginning to really understand that failure is not a symptom of unworthiness but rather part of "showing up" in life. When we are vulnerable, courageous and authentic (authentic=being who God created you to be) we are bound to fail because that how we learn and "THAT'S OKAY!"