Friday Photographs-Growth

"The first step toward growing is believing that you can."

"Really Tall" Towers

Life can sometimes feel like a tower of blocks that have come crashing down around us. In life we tend to build towers "really tall" just so we can say or feel like we have accomplished something. Then all of a sudden our "really tall" tower come crashing down around us. All we see is brokenness and chaos. Sometimes we have no idea what made it fall. Was it circumstances? Did we knock it down ourselves? Did someone else knock it down? Whatever the reason there we stand frozen with shock for a while.

I don't know about you but when I'm standing in the middle of my pile of blocks looking at the brokenness and chaos that has ensued all I see is devastation and failure. I want to run away and stick my head in a whole and never show my face again. This is especially true when I feel that it is my fault that the tower has fallen. It can feel hopeless and overwhelming.

The "children will lead them"...this past weekend I spent many hours with my two year old niece. She loves to play and build with blocks.  She loves to build "really tall" towers and she built many of them. What I witnessed as I watch her build and rebuild her "really tall" towers was her reaction to the towers crashing down.  In the beginning, each time the tower would fall I would say "uh-oh!" yet her reaction was always the same, "that's okay!" and she would just build it again. Sometimes she would even knock it down herself only to move it in the truck to rebuild it in another place. By the end of my time with her I had all but stopped saying "uh-oh" and just let her response become the norm.

My nieces reaction to "failure" is one of learning and growing not one of devastation. She does not associate failure with a negative reaction or emotion. Now don't get me wrong-failure is hard and can feel devastating. It can make us feel worthless and throw us for a loop. However, I am beginning to really understand that failure is not a symptom of unworthiness but rather part of "showing up" in life. When we are vulnerable, courageous and authentic (authentic=being who God created you to be) we are bound to fail because that how we learn and "THAT'S OKAY!"

Sunset Journey

"There is no beginning or end 

to your dreams or plans.

Life is journey from

moment to moment.

Live each moment to its fullest."

-Garth Catterall-Heart

The Thing About Courage

The thing about courage is that it is hard! Well, at least it is for me. So what exactly is courage? I love Brene Brown's definition of courage. She defines courages as "speaking honestly and openly about two we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad)" (The Gifts of Imperfection pp. 12-13). In other words courage is about speaking our truth. Courage requires being authentic and having the confidence to speak from our heart about who we are and what we are feeling.

Cultivating courage has been a theme of mine over the past few years. My courage has been tested over and over this past year. This past year required the courage to admit to myself and the world that I was being called away from the vocation of Christian Education. It took courage to dig deep within myself and discover a passion and purpose that has been bubbling within the depths of my spirit for sometime. Both of these realizations required me rediscover my authentic or true self. Not only did I have to "rediscover myself" I also realized the importance of practicing compassion and love toward my authentic self.

One of my favorite quotes about courage is "Courage is fear that has said its prayers." Living in to this new reality has required that I not only face my fear of rejection and not being liked but also praying for healing from the wounds that have contributed this fear. I continue to pray for and practice healing, for self compassion and courage.

What are your stories of courage? What wisdom would you share with others about courage?

A New and Exciting Chapter

Last November I left my position as Director of Christian Education at Memorial Presbyterian Church. This departure was unexpected and devastating. I had been work so hard to become a better leader and Christian Educator and to "make it work" and I thought I had turned a corner and was looking forward to a good year ahead. I was heartbroken, lost, angry, confused, and probably even depressed. I wonder why? I wondered how I move forward? I wondered what was next?

Well, after much prayer, support, and discernment I realized what was NOT next was working as a Christian Educator in a congregation. This took courage for me to realize and embrace this new reality. However, I wasn't sure where God was calling me next. I realized I had to discover what my true passion and purpose was in this season of my life. Thus, I began working with a Career Coach who has guided me on this journey of discernment.

I have discovered this is my passion:

To equip and come alongside people as they journey toward greater spiritual, emotional and physical wholeness.

It is exciting to dream about the ways my passion will manifest itself and grow into a vocation/career. I look forward to sharing wisdom, experiences and insights with you as I discover how God is calling me to live into my passion and purpose!

Friday Photographs-Remembering My Baptism

"I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen"

On June 12, 1977 I was baptized surround by God's love in the form of my family and the Congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church.

This beautiful baptismal bowl adorns the sanctuary at Memorial Presbyterian Church where I serve as Director of Christian Education. It represents the my journey-at times overwhelmed with fear, shame, and anger, healing and transformation 

and shimmers of gold or light.

"Amusement Park" Church

Yesterday, I went out for a walk and was compelled to check out this "mega church" not far from my apartment complex. I have always been fascinated with "mega churches". I personally don't see their allure but the reality is that a lot of people do…or at least they are initially drawn to them. I knew from the onset that the building was large-you can see it from the highway. I also knew they have a staff of over 50. I always wondered what they used all that space for.  As I walked around the building it became very clear…they have a sports complex and a children's ministry area called Discovery Land that looks like an amusement park playground. 

As I continued to walk around the building I kept thinking this is like an amusement park with different "lands"! Who has a full blown fitness center and gymnasium in their church building? Apparently, they do! My next thought was that maybe this was one of their outreach ministries and the public could use it for free. Nope! Turns out it cost $35 per year for an individual membership. Yes, they do have a sports ministry but from what I could tell (from their website) they were not necessarily serving the poor or underprivileged. 

All this got me thinking about what does a particular church say about itself by the building they are in, the ministries offer, or the even the size they are? A conversation, with the Ministry Architects consultant Memorial Presbyterian Church (MPC), challenged me to think about the niche that MPC educational ministry fills in this community. How are we leaning into our mission to "Live and Learn God's Word"? In our Educational Ministry do we focus more on "attracting" new "members" with our "amazing" programs or great space - or is our focus building relationships, meeting people where they are on the faith journey, and equipping members to be the hands and feet of Christ in the community? 

It occurs to me that maybe the future of educational ministry is a balancing act between excelling at creating meaningful opportunities for spiritual growth and equipping disciples to "live God's Word" in the community. This will obviously look different for every congregation - even the "mega churches". What does it look like for MPC? Well that is what we are working on discerning and discovering? What does it look like in your context?

So, do you agree? What am I missing? What do you have to add to the "conversation"?