The Thing About Courage

The thing about courage is that it is hard! Well, at least it is for me. So what exactly is courage? I love Brene Brown's definition of courage. She defines courages as "speaking honestly and openly about two we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad)" (The Gifts of Imperfection pp. 12-13). In other words courage is about speaking our truth. Courage requires being authentic and having the confidence to speak from our heart about who we are and what we are feeling.

Cultivating courage has been a theme of mine over the past few years. My courage has been tested over and over this past year. This past year required the courage to admit to myself and the world that I was being called away from the vocation of Christian Education. It took courage to dig deep within myself and discover a passion and purpose that has been bubbling within the depths of my spirit for sometime. Both of these realizations required me rediscover my authentic or true self. Not only did I have to "rediscover myself" I also realized the importance of practicing compassion and love toward my authentic self.

One of my favorite quotes about courage is "Courage is fear that has said its prayers." Living in to this new reality has required that I not only face my fear of rejection and not being liked but also praying for healing from the wounds that have contributed this fear. I continue to pray for and practice healing, for self compassion and courage.

What are your stories of courage? What wisdom would you share with others about courage?

A New and Exciting Chapter

Last November I left my position as Director of Christian Education at Memorial Presbyterian Church. This departure was unexpected and devastating. I had been work so hard to become a better leader and Christian Educator and to "make it work" and I thought I had turned a corner and was looking forward to a good year ahead. I was heartbroken, lost, angry, confused, and probably even depressed. I wonder why? I wondered how I move forward? I wondered what was next?

Well, after much prayer, support, and discernment I realized what was NOT next was working as a Christian Educator in a congregation. This took courage for me to realize and embrace this new reality. However, I wasn't sure where God was calling me next. I realized I had to discover what my true passion and purpose was in this season of my life. Thus, I began working with a Career Coach who has guided me on this journey of discernment.

I have discovered this is my passion:

To equip and come alongside people as they journey toward greater spiritual, emotional and physical wholeness.

It is exciting to dream about the ways my passion will manifest itself and grow into a vocation/career. I look forward to sharing wisdom, experiences and insights with you as I discover how God is calling me to live into my passion and purpose!

Friday Photographs-Remembering My Baptism

"I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen"

On June 12, 1977 I was baptized surround by God's love in the form of my family and the Congregation of Westminster Presbyterian Church.

This beautiful baptismal bowl adorns the sanctuary at Memorial Presbyterian Church where I serve as Director of Christian Education. It represents the my journey-at times overwhelmed with fear, shame, and anger, healing and transformation 

and shimmers of gold or light.

"Amusement Park" Church

Yesterday, I went out for a walk and was compelled to check out this "mega church" not far from my apartment complex. I have always been fascinated with "mega churches". I personally don't see their allure but the reality is that a lot of people do…or at least they are initially drawn to them. I knew from the onset that the building was large-you can see it from the highway. I also knew they have a staff of over 50. I always wondered what they used all that space for.  As I walked around the building it became very clear…they have a sports complex and a children's ministry area called Discovery Land that looks like an amusement park playground. 

As I continued to walk around the building I kept thinking this is like an amusement park with different "lands"! Who has a full blown fitness center and gymnasium in their church building? Apparently, they do! My next thought was that maybe this was one of their outreach ministries and the public could use it for free. Nope! Turns out it cost $35 per year for an individual membership. Yes, they do have a sports ministry but from what I could tell (from their website) they were not necessarily serving the poor or underprivileged. 

All this got me thinking about what does a particular church say about itself by the building they are in, the ministries offer, or the even the size they are? A conversation, with the Ministry Architects consultant Memorial Presbyterian Church (MPC), challenged me to think about the niche that MPC educational ministry fills in this community. How are we leaning into our mission to "Live and Learn God's Word"? In our Educational Ministry do we focus more on "attracting" new "members" with our "amazing" programs or great space - or is our focus building relationships, meeting people where they are on the faith journey, and equipping members to be the hands and feet of Christ in the community? 

It occurs to me that maybe the future of educational ministry is a balancing act between excelling at creating meaningful opportunities for spiritual growth and equipping disciples to "live God's Word" in the community. This will obviously look different for every congregation - even the "mega churches". What does it look like for MPC? Well that is what we are working on discerning and discovering? What does it look like in your context?

So, do you agree? What am I missing? What do you have to add to the "conversation"?

Living and Leaning Into My Leadership Role

For as long as I can remember in my adult life and especially in my call as a Christian Educator I have questioned and doubted my skills in leadership. These doubts have been fueled by the criticisms of others in "authority".  In reality I have doubted lot about myself which has led to a lack of self confidence and this has translated into a lack of confidence in my role as a leader.

As you might recall I recently (about 9 months ago) I began a new call as the Director of Christian Education at Memorial Presbyterian Church. I was so excited to start a fresh after much "soul" and shame work. I felt confident! From the time I completed my onsite interview I knew this was where God was calling me and I trusted God would provide. I felt like I could take on the world…or at least the Educational Ministry of MPC!

I knew that honing and owning my leadership skill was something I wanted to embrace in this new call. My new colleague, Mike and I had discussed this in my initial interviews and I   was convinced he would challenge and support me in the endeavor (he has and he is!).  I thought living into my leadership role at MPC would just happen, I thought it would be easy…well trust me it didn't and it hasn't!

The past nine months have been a roller - coster in the leadership department. There have been some high highs and some low lows. There have been times when leadership seems natural and easy-I feel like I was a leader. Then there were the times I was was leading but rather managing and that I needed to "step it up". That hit hard…I thought I was leading…doubt crept in and I began searching, praying, and reaching out.

I began to seriously ponder leadership-What was I missing? What was my leadership style? Did I really have leadership skills? What next?

Hope was not lost-I was receiving little whispers from God (in the form of those "silly" Facebook quizzes and encouragement from trusted friends and colleagues) that I do have the skills necessary for effective leadership. I feel like I'm still discovering and naming theses skills for myself. 

It has occurred to me that maybe living and leaning into my leadership role is really about I trusting myself!

(I would love to hear you thoughts on the concept of leadership and specifically my how I can become a more effective leader.)

Friday Photographs-In Honor of Maya Angelou

"Nothing can dim the light that shines from within."

-Maya Angelou

Friday Photographs are BACK!

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."

Matthew 5:16