Living and Leaning Into My Leadership Role

For as long as I can remember in my adult life and especially in my call as a Christian Educator I have questioned and doubted my skills in leadership. These doubts have been fueled by the criticisms of others in "authority".  In reality I have doubted lot about myself which has led to a lack of self confidence and this has translated into a lack of confidence in my role as a leader.

As you might recall I recently (about 9 months ago) I began a new call as the Director of Christian Education at Memorial Presbyterian Church. I was so excited to start a fresh after much "soul" and shame work. I felt confident! From the time I completed my onsite interview I knew this was where God was calling me and I trusted God would provide. I felt like I could take on the world…or at least the Educational Ministry of MPC!

I knew that honing and owning my leadership skill was something I wanted to embrace in this new call. My new colleague, Mike and I had discussed this in my initial interviews and I   was convinced he would challenge and support me in the endeavor (he has and he is!).  I thought living into my leadership role at MPC would just happen, I thought it would be easy…well trust me it didn't and it hasn't!

The past nine months have been a roller - coster in the leadership department. There have been some high highs and some low lows. There have been times when leadership seems natural and easy-I feel like I was a leader. Then there were the times I was was leading but rather managing and that I needed to "step it up". That hit hard…I thought I was leading…doubt crept in and I began searching, praying, and reaching out.

I began to seriously ponder leadership-What was I missing? What was my leadership style? Did I really have leadership skills? What next?

Hope was not lost-I was receiving little whispers from God (in the form of those "silly" Facebook quizzes and encouragement from trusted friends and colleagues) that I do have the skills necessary for effective leadership. I feel like I'm still discovering and naming theses skills for myself. 

It has occurred to me that maybe living and leaning into my leadership role is really about I trusting myself!

(I would love to hear you thoughts on the concept of leadership and specifically my how I can become a more effective leader.)